Boss Battle: Here Is My Heart, I’ll Be Back For It

Hey folks, I just wanted to let you know that ResearchBuzz is going to be on a hiatus for a while. I’ll post as I can on Twitter and Facebook but e-mail updates are going to be scanty, and if you’re waiting on a reply to an e-mail — well, let’s just say I got over 3000 messages in my in-box and I’m not really sure when I’m going to get back to them.

I’m undergoing some extremely stressful things in my life right now and I just need to focus all my energies on them. My health is fine (aside from the stress) so please don’t be concerned. This is just reality.

Can I get sappy on you for a minute?

As some of you know I live in North Carolina. I have ancestors here going back over 200 years (who were mostly piss-poor tobacco farmers, so don’t think I’m claiming any kind of merit badge.) I have lived here most of my life and I can’t imagine moving away, because of how much and how helplessly I love this state.

It would take me ages to explain to you why. A streaky dawn sky over a stand of pine trees. A warm evening, sitting on the porch, smelling the wisteria and watching the bats zoom around. Sometimes I’ll get up early and go for a walk, and I’ll hear the hawks going kyahh kyahh kyahh as they look for their breakfast, and I’ll see the crepe myrtles scattering their petals over the grass. And my heart will just clutch, because I am in the middle — this is my landscape and the context of my history — and I have given my soul to it in some vast, inexpressible way. And though it, in its totality, may love me back (who knows?), it is in a way that I do not have the capacity to truly understand and appreciate.

ResearchBuzz is the context of my intellectual existance. Not just the Web site, but every thing that makes it possible. The people who care enough to create the resources and share them. The people who teach and grow and make more from what has come before. There is so much to despair of in this world, but there is so much hope in those everywhere who choose to move forward and build and share and learn.

ResearchBuzz is only a drop in that vast ocean. But the ocean has been so welcoming and accepting to a life which in some ways has not had much of that kindness. I feel for that context and that landscape the same witless gratitude and overflowing emotion that I feel toward the state where I live. And the feelings for both are tinged with regret and self-recrimination, because I know in neither case will I ever be able to repay everything that has been given to me.

I’m not sure when I’ll be able to come back and devote as much time as I would like to ResearchBuzz — to be honest, I have no idea how this will end. But it seemed very important that I say something, and most important that I tell you: I love. I love the world that makes ResearchBuzz possible, though I have to leave it for a while. And I will not stop.

See you soon.

Categories: Uncategorized

35 replies »

  1. Thank you for the post and the update. I’ve found your blog posts and links immensely helpful — thank you for sharing such content! Best of luck and take care. We’ll be waiting for your return.

  2. You take care, I hope the issues all resolve, and don’t worry about us, we’ll be fine. But we’ll be eager to welcome you back to the world of RB, should that be possible some day! Thanks so much for all you have given us already.

  3. Good luck to you Tara. We’re rooting for you! I’ve followed Research Buzz from the beginning, and you have steered me to many treasures, which of course, I pass along. Come back soon.

  4. I hope you find your way through your current troubles and one day make it back here. We’ll be waiting for you when you do. We won’t forget how much you’ve given us over the years, and I hope it helps just a little bit to remember how much you’re liked, admired and respected by the community you’ve done so much to shape. We’ll be thinking of you.

  5. Take good care, and thank you so much for all the energy you spent for us! Will be happy to hear from you as soon as you feel the time is right 🙂

  6. Best wishes for the future and thanks for all the valuable items you have posted over the years. Looking forward to your return.

  7. I’ve been reading ResearchBuzz for years and years. I will take a moment to express my deep feelings of thanks for your efforts. I’ve recommended your blog to all types of folks; librarians, programmers, professors, authors, and more. The consistent reply is, “Wow, this is really great!” And sometimes I even get follow-up emails months later about something they were made aware of because of your blog.

    And you don’t just re-post; you often test, and give details on what works and what doesn’t. All of this with a sense of humor and lots of evidence of the great love you mentioned in your latest posting.

    Know that you will be missed, and we are all rooting for you to be happy. Regardless of what that means for ResearchBuzz.

  8. You’ve given me amazing leads on all sorts of interesting information, all done with your own time, and for free. I will always appreciate it.

    We’ll be here whenever you are ready to return. Thanks so much for all that you’ve given us.

  9. I wish you the best as you take this time you need. I really respect the honesty and urgency in your words. Thank you for sharing your expertise, your information and your energy with us over the years! ~Mary

  10. Tara, you and I have conversed on more than one occasion. I KNOW how much work it takes to do the RB updates, from my own research emails and work. It may be time to partner up with someone who can help you…who is as passionate about this as you. This is your baby, and it will be VERY hard to let someone else take the reigns, even one reign. I run a page on FB where I had to let someone else in as an admin. It was odd, and I had to trust that he would send updates as much as I wanted to. But it was time.

    I wish I could volunteer to help full time. But I’m almost in the same boat as you regarding free time and other commitments. However, with the reader base that RB has, I’m sure if you put the word out, you would get more than enough people for you to weed through to add an extra admin or two that will continue to give life to the RB updates.

    You mean A LOT to us, your readers and supporters. We know that life moves beyond the screen in front of us, although we may not always want to admit it. Whatever you are going through SHOULD take precedence over online activities and such. Just because you are allowing RB to “take a nap” doesn’t mean that it’s losing its life. You are its heartbeat. When it’s time to wake up, whether you do it solo or with help, the energy that we feel when we read the updates will still be there; and maybe even with a renewed vigor. We aren’t going anywhere. We will still be waiting to hear from you (or your helpers if you go that route).

    Take care. Live your life. And know that we, your readers and infrequent submitters, are here if you need us…if you need to vent, write a new book on yet more Google hacks, are asking for help or just a one-line update to say “Hello, Internet!”

    — Matt

  11. Will miss your superb reporting and your quirky take on life and the internet. Be well and come back when you’re good and ready.

  12. Tara! You are such a talented writer! I got to sit on your porch with you just now, see the pines, smell the flowers. I hope you find the time and space to continue to be creative — it must be in your DNA to do so. Thanks immeasurably for all the grand things you’ve shared over the years! I’ll always be a fan!

  13. I am sending you the very best of love and wishes and hopes that your current concerns abate. Research Buzz has always been the most important and eagerly awaited email. I have shared your information with any and everyone I come into contact with!

    I have saved almost every Research Buzz email I’ve received and so I will simply go through them to mine for additional information to feed my information addiction.

    Again, I sincerely hope and pray that your road unwinds and your stress recedes.

  14. I concur with all of the above. A heartfelt thank you. Hope to see you soon again.

  15. Thank you so much. I have used your helpful information in the classes I teach and the discussions I’ve had. Best wishes.

  16. Tara – you have offered a wonderful resource for quite some time. Please know that the list’s love and respect for you are greater than you can know. Take care, be well, thanks so much for everything.

    Sandy F.

  17. Oh, Dear! We will miss you so much. Take care, thank you, and very best wishes.

  18. May all work out for the positive for you! We will be here waiting! Godspeed.

  19. Best wishes for things working out and a swift return – I’ve enjoyed your blog for about a year, I hope you’re able to keep it up!

  20. Take good care of yourself. As a fellow North Carolinian I know how it feels to love our state.

  21. Thank you for sharing, wishing you all the best and hope things will work out for the best for you.. waiting for your return

  22. Been following for years from the UK, sorry to hear things are stressful. Hope it all turns out OK – best wishes.

  23. Good luck, to you! I am very grateful for for the work you have done here, and I wish you the best!

  24. Hey Tara. My very best to you. I’m sending many good vibes your way. Please take good care and please come back as soon as you can! I’m such a fan, I can’t imagine the interwebs and my work without ResearchBuzz.

  25. Good Luck!
    As someone else who recently left their home state…I know what you’re going through.

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